The Adventures of Crazy CATS Authors
by HowAboutThat
Summary: Follow the adventures of multiple crazy authors living in the world of CATS and ensuing fun and crazy mayhem and chaos wherever we go! Featuring: Myself, Pouncii, Milesperhour, HumanGuineaPig, Quiffin, Magical Miss Brittstoffelees, Silenthunder, Paradox Predator, Demsit the Mystic Cat, xToffifee, and musicgal3! Rated T because I know it's gonna end up not for little kits- er- kids.
1. Chapter 1

HAT: Hey! This is a story I've made involving some authors that I know (you know... through fanfiction) and if you're not on here, don't be offended. I didn't want a thousand authors, just some that I know kinda... sorta... you get the point! Also, this is gonna be random as heck soooo... yeah. *claps hands together eagerly* Yep! This is gonna be great (I hope). Please enjoy (and if any of the ones in the story aren't satisfied with how I presented you... I'm sorry).

**Disclaimer: I don't own CATS nor any of the OCs save for Lyon (because I can't help, but put Lyon in everything).**

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**Episode 1:  
The Authors Are Coming, The Author's Are Coming!**

Hi, I'm Jemaara (HAT)! I'm mostly black with brown paws, ears, and a pattern over brown eyes, I have weird curly fur, and I'm best friends with Skimble, Asparagus, Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer (c'mon, you gotta say both of their names, just like Coricopat and Tantomile!), Alonzo and Tugger. Otherwise, everyone else is my friend. Also, another interesting fact is that I'm running into the junkyard at top speed. You must be wondering why, huh (A/N: Yes! 4th wall broken down already!)? Well, you see, what had happened was, I asked some of my friends if they wanted to live in the junkyard instead of constantly visit... I didn't expect all of them to say yes, but guess what? They did. Some of them further away so it'll take longer for them to get here, but a few are on their way and I have to tell the tribe before they get here.

"Jem?!" Alonzo calls, twirling on his heel to catch my arm. "What's going on?"

"More cats are coming to live in the junkyard!"

"Who?"

"No time! Gotta tell everyone before they get here!"

He lets me go and I know he's conflicted about staying there to guard and finding out who. I figure he'll find out a little sooner than the others so I weave my way through the junkyard and curse under my breath. Why did the junkyard have to be so... maze-like? I get on all fours and run, knowing I will have little to no time before they come barging in after me. I round the last corner and slam into a large cat.

"Oh, sorry, Jemaara," mutters Bustopher Jones as he helps me up. "What's the rush?"

I hold up a finger and rush to the tire and jump up on it. The cats, thankfully, gather around to hear what I have to say.

I get a good lungful of air I'm my lungs before I speak, "Alright, everyone, there's new cats coming in! They visit a lot, but now they're gonna live here!"

"Who?" Munkustrap asks warily.

"All of them. Right now Estelle (Pouncii), Ruby (HumanGuineaPig), and Miles (Milesperhour)!"

I notice Bustopher jump and glance around at the mention of Estelle. You'll understand later. Everyone else starts muttering. These three are the ones that live closest, the rest of them will take a while to get here. Actually, that's a good thing since it'd be an overload for everyone if all of them came at the same time. Heck, it was an overload with me, what with all the random black holes popping up everywhere... Don't worry, I'm better. It only happens once a week, sometimes once every two weeks. Moving on from me, since the three are here!

Estelle, a young queen with a cream base while her chest and stomach are light brown, dark brown and some orange hatching and her paws, ears and tail are dark brown and light brown eyes, sneaks up behind the fat tux and shouts "boo," making him jump and whirl around.

"Hey, Bustopher," she giggles as he tries to get his fur to lie flat.

"Hello, Estelle," he murmurs.

"Sooo, if I don't scare you anymore will you bring me back some rice pudding?" she asks sweetly.

I roll my eyes and smile. Yes, despite her always trying to bribe him for food (and I have to admit, we've all done it), they're decent friends. Definitely not as close as she is to-

"Look out Pounce," Tumblebrutus mutters to his brother.

"Pouncival!" Estelle cheers and hugs him.

The emerald eyed young tom smiles. "Hey. It's been a while."

"I know, too long."

Ruby is much more calm than Estelle. She's on the shortish side with some curves, and has an interesting fur pattern with silver, bronze, and white splotched fur and black and brown patternings over it and her hair is short and messy, almost like Demeter's, but less uniform, and her eyes are a very pretty blue! She can see that Pouncival, one of her friends as well, is busy with his number one fan (who says that Tugger was the only one with a fan club?) and goes to Coricopat and Tantomile to talk.

"Hello, Ruby," Coricopat greets with a warm smile.

"Hello," she chirps, hugging them both.

She may seem calm now, but just you wait. She's more hyper than anyone would ever assume at first. Somehow _she _was the one to find the black hole with all the sweets in it and I don't know how because she was in, what I like to call, Hyper Mode.

I would go say hi to Miles and keep him company, but he's already got some of "the tom-kits (boys)" over there with him. Tumblebrutus and Plato managed to go over to greet him, but Pouncival was still being hung up, obviously. Miles is such a shy tom, which is one of the reasons he'd be constantly surrounded by the queens if they weren't currently trying to wrap their mind around everything. I know that this is gonna be fun... and that Macavity will avoid this place for a few weeks at least. That's a story for another time.

"Hey guys!" I call with a grin.

They turn to me and smile. "Hey, Jem!"

I jump down and get my hugs from all of them before I remember they don't know where their dens are. Whoops! I'll show them where their dens are later. I go to sit on Alonzo when I hear greetings towards my favorite cat in the entire world.

"Here it goes," Ruby mutters with an amused smile.

"Three mice that she'll jump on him immediately," Miles mutters.

"No, she'll want to make a point, I say five minutes," Estelle mutters.

Ruby hums and I can feel her observing me. "Hmmm... Five mice says an hour."

_Humph! I'm gonna ignore him all day!... well, he _did _take my bacon_, I think before I step towards Alonzo to sit on him, something he allows me to do surprisingly, when I step onto nothing and look down at what was awaiting me. "TELLIE TUBBIES!"

They laugh now, but wait until those things come out and try to munch on some cat. Immediately someone grabs my scruff and I'm held up like a kitten. Just because I'm smaller than most of the toms and queens doesn't mean I should be picked up like a kit!... wait a second. I the two new queens are being held the same way by Bustopher and Coricopat... _we're short!_

"How many times is it today?" Deuteronomy asks as he lifts me to eye level.

"Um... three," I murmur.

He rolls his eyes. "I go over to say hi to some cats and you're already going into a black hole and it's the one with the Tellie Tubbies?"

"At least it wasn't Barney," I point out.

He shivers. "Hopefully we won't go through that again. Be nice."

"I'm nice!" I declare before getting a look. "Okay, most of the time."

Being social and funny doesn't mean I'm exactly nice. Kinda mean spirited, I guess, but you watch someone trip on nothing and tell me that's not funny!

"That's right. Close up the black hole and stay out of trouble."

As soon as I'm set down I rush over to Estelle and hide behind her before sticking my tongue out at Deuteronomy kittenishly. He gives me a scolding look and I squeak and hide continue to try and hide, but fail. Before I know it Ruby's being run over by Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer while they're trying to escape Jenny and Jelly's wrath.

_At least it's not me this time getting in trouble,_ I think as I rush over to Ruby and help her up. "You alright?"

"Yeah," she assures as she rubs her, most likely bruised, knee. "Just didn't expect that."

"We did," Coricopat and Tantomile say smugly.

"Oh, shut up," she grumbles.

I can't help, but laugh in amusement and receive a raised eyebrow. "What?" I ask innocently.

"Jemaara, when do we get our new dens?" Miles asks politely.

I perk up and immediately get to thinking on dens just perfect for them. "Okaaaaay, Estelle, you're is closest, then you, Miles, then your is farthest, Ruby. I've strategically placed all of you in adequate homes that aren't gonna disturb the peace."

"So basically Estelle's nowhere near Pouncival?" Miles says in amusement while sending a glance towards said queen.

"Far enough that no one that's violent when they wake up -ahem me ahem- _but _close enough that she won't be too disappointed. Ruby's pretty much near Cori and Tanto's den, and yours is generally near everyone. Any questions?"

"Is there indoor plumbing?" Ruby asks.

I open my mouth and close it, unsure. There are a few dens that have no active plumbing, but it can be fixed rather quickly. "Fifty-fifty chance."

"Great," the three mutter while I grin sheepishly at them.

-EPISODE EPILOGUE-

Miles tries to use the sink to wash dishes while Estelle tries to ready a bath, and Ruby (A/N: Hope you don't mind this) tries to flush the toilet and each end up utterly disappointed (though none more so than Ruby) and end up scowling and yelling at the same time, "_Jemaara!_"

Meanwhile Jemaara shivers. "I hope what's a good shiver..."

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HAT: As you can see this is gonna be set up as a random series of "episodes" where mayhem and chaos ensues because we authors are insane! Any and all suggestions for future "episodes" are appreciated and some constructive criticism would be appreciated as well. Sorry for the long wait, those authors that are apart of this (and there are more authors gonna be dragged into this mayhem (of their own free will)) for the long wait, I just didn't know how to end it until tonight.

Mungojerrie: How long until the next chapter- er- "episode" comes out?

HAT: *shrugs* I dunno, after inspiration hits me with a ton of inspire-bricks?

Mungojerrie: *laughs and shakes head* Alright-y then. Review, all!


	2. Chapter 2

HAT: Alright, another author coming up and honestly I flipped... not a coin, but my phone to decide if I had one author come in or multiple... the phone decided one so I'll the next chapter I'll put something like two or three authors in... how many authors do I have again? Nine?! Oh, man! There's gonna be a lot of adventures aren't there?

**Disclaimer: I don't own CATS nor any of the OCs save for Lyon (because I can't help, but put Lyon in everything).**

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**Episode 2:  
Transporting Isn't Easy (For Some Cats)  
**

It's been a few days and I'm so glad that everything's run smoothly so far, but my favorite cat in the junkyard has been here for three days and trying to keep from glomping him for the rest of today is gonna be a challenge... maybe I should give in? I've already proven to the three that I can resist the need to glomp him.

I notice Macavity shiver and I frown. "That doesn't happen often..." I shrug and decide to go glomp my favorite cat. "Skimble!"

The Scottish tom turns around and looks like he's about to duck while I'm, literally, flying at him, but thankfully he catches me while I hug him. "Hello, lass. I was beginning to think you made Alonzo your favorite as much as you've been sitting on him."

"Please, Alonzo's too somber for me."

He raises one eyebrow. "You do realize that I'm not always jovial and-"

"Yeah, but you've got prettier eyes."

"I knew it was your obsession for eyes," he says as he rolls said pretty eyes (A/N: Seriously, I have a thing for eyes. Normally I like blue eyes, but Skimble's eyes in the film were _pretty_). "While I try and get Pouncival's head out of the bucket again, you go try and keep Estelle from seeing that he has his head in a bucket."

I jump back and give a salute. "Yes, Sergeant Skimble."

He rolls his eyes- something that happens around me a lot for some reason. "Stay away from the humans in ROTC."

"Never!" I shout over my shoulder while trying to find Estelle. She shouldn't be awake yet, buuuut her Pouncival senses _must _be tingling. I spot Miles and go over to him. "Hey, Miles, have you seen Estelle?"

The scruffy white tom shrugs his shoulders. "I dunno. Sorry, Jemaara."

I wave it off. "No problem, she's usually not awake at this time."

"Pouncival has his head stuck again?"

I nod. "Yeah. Skimble's getting him out right now."

Miles shakes his head in amusement. "So I take it you've glomped Skimble?"

"Yeah... Hey, how'd practice with Misto go yesterday?"

He moves some of his head fur out of his aqua eyes and smiles. "It went well. I think he's getting levitating other cats down pretty nicely. I was only dropped twice this time."

"It's nice you're helping him practice his magic."

"That's what friends are for," he shrugs before noticing Macavity looking around anxiously. "Hey, do you know what's up with Macavity? He's been acting weird since yesterday."

"I dunno, I've been wondering myself. Jenny said not to worry about it, so I've tried not to think about it... still, I keep seeing him looking like he's waiting for someone to show up out of nowhere and tackle him."

As if I'd said something ingenious that sparked some sort of inspiration he perks up. "You don't think...?"

I blink in confusion and tilt my head slightly. "Huh?"

"You don't think Brittny's coming, do you?"

I straighten up, a mixture of fear and excitement coursing through me. "That could be a possibility. Mac's usually jumpy when she comes around."

"Hey, Miles! Wanna come play Mouse with us?" Plato calls.

"Sure!" The white tom says before flashing me a shy smile. "I guess I'll see you later, Jemaara."

"See ya, Miles," I say with a wave. When he walks away I open a black hole and jump in, being transported to Tantomile's side. "Hey, Tantomile!"

She sends me a glare while she tries to flatten her fur. "I wish you'd stop doing that."

"Why? It makes me laugh," I say with a playful grin before I notice Cassandra. "Oh, hey Cassy!"

"Hello Jemaara. Haven't fallen into anymore "adventures" today have you?"

"Just once. Number... 237."

"The one with the giant crowbar?" Cassandra questions, tilting her head partially.

"No, that one's 371."

Tantomile shakes her head. "No, that one's the one with the lobsters and sand dunes, Cassandra's right."

I scratch my head and dig through the numerous black holes that I've been in and shrug. "This one was the Dorito one."

Both of them wince and say, "549."

"Anyway, I came to ask-"

"She'll be here in twenty minutes," Tantomile interrupts, taking a sip of tea.

"Thanks," I say. "If you see Mac, get him to calm down. Maybe use the pressure points?"

"That's Exotica's specialty."

I nod at Cassandra. "Yeah, but still- you know how Mac gets."

"We know," both say.

I open a black hole and step into it before poking my head back in. "Love you!~"

"Love you, too," they murmur, going back to work.

I grin and close the black hole behind me and roam around for a little while. Honestly it's amazing being in black holes- the ones where I don't have to fight for my life- and there's also this place in between black holes that's full of darkness and stars that's really cool. It's always something fun, but some cats are afraid of it- especially when it goes fast because it ends up just being darkness. I roam around sometimes which is why some cats can never find me and this is why I lose track of time and pop up hours later. This time I'm not letting it happen.

The right area comes up and I open it and walk out before closing it behind me so that no one ends up list in there (like I did when I was a kit).

"Pouncival!"

"H-hi, Estelle," I hear the young tom stutter with a smile.

"I see you had fun with your black holes this time."

I jump in surprise and hold back at the last possibly second to keep from hitting Skimble. "You-" I stop and bite my lip to keep from cursing like I really want to before giving into the urge and hitting him a once time for each word though not as hard as the first one would have been. "You suck!"

He chuckles and grabs my wrists. "Calm down. I'm sorry."

"You'd better be," I grumble and stop trying to hit him. "Got him out before Estelle got to him so that's good."

"Yes. I think that it's starting to get to an unhealthy obsession like someone else I know," he says, giving me a look.

I cross my arms over my chest and look away. "Shut up... Guess who's showing up today?"

"Bustopher?"

"No. Take a look at Mac," I murmur, gesturing to the nervous looking red tom. "He looks like Demeter before he turned good again."

"Brittny?"

"Uh-huh."

"It's been a while. Figured she'd be next to show up."

I shake my head and hear something off like Play-Doh being smushed together and look up to see a black and white form falling from the sky towards the ground. The sound of tissue paper being ripped happens before the Play-Doh smushing happens again and she's falling from the height she was at before, but a few feet from a few feet over so that she falls onto a pile of safe junk. Macavity rushes over as soon as she lands in it and I run over to see if she's alright with Skimble close behind.

"Whoo! That was a doozy," the black and white queen with swirled stripes and bright green eyes.

"You _suck _at teleporting," I deadpan.

"We can't all be great at teleporting from place to place like you," she snaps, though I take no offense.

"You're better at the other types of magic unlike me. I think you cheated because you had Mac help you."

She sticks out her tongue at me. "Not my fault he likes me better than you."

"I like Skimble better than him anyway."

"Thank you, lass," Skimble says, a proud smile on his face.

Macavity looks between us and lifts his arms and hands with his face looking like he's offended. "I'm right here!"

"We know," we both say.

I open a black hole and pull out a water bottle and toss it to Brittny who fumbles for a second, but catches it in the end. "Get rehydrated. How far were you when you teleported?"

_Great, I'm going Maama mode,_ I think with a groan (A/N: Yes, it was on purpose. Je_maara_. Maama... get it?).

She takes a long, slow gulp of water before answering, "From my old home."

I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a slow breath through my nose to keep from blowing up as bad as I probably would've. "If I told you once I told you a thousand times to teleport at intervals!"

"You don't do it!" Brittny protests.

"Black holes are different. They rip the fabric of space and time and have enough pressure that you're not ripping yourself and moving those particles to another place to release much needed water particles in your body. There's some stupid in depth scientific thing about it, but you can ask Misto or Cori about it."

"Speaking of little Quaxo-"

"Misto," I correct casually. She- and quite a few others- have called Mistoffelees "Quaxo" ever since he accidentally turned himself into a duck. Amusing as it was, I knew he was a little embarrassed about it- being an empath and all.

"Where is he?"

I shrug and turn to the ginger tom. "Where's your brother?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"He's your brother," Brittny says.

I grin. This is why I like having the others with me when I get into it with Macavity about keeping track of his brothers. He doesn't realize after being away for so long that he has some responsibility over all of his brothers and both of his sisters.

"And?"

"Where's Victoria?" I ask.

"With Etcetera helping her get her room clean before Jenny bites her head off."

"And Jemima?"

"Playing a game with Tugger."

I share a look with Brittny and Skimble. "So you keep track of your sisters, but your brothers, you don't care?"

"They can take care of themselves," he shrugs.

"You're such an overprotective brother," Brittny sighs as she shakes her head.

"He couldn't be a good brother to his sisters if he weren't," Skimble intervenes.

"Hey! you're supposed to be on our side!" Brittny exclaims.

The orange tabby shrugs. "Oh, well."

I shake my head with small smile forming on my lips. "This place is only gonna get crazier isn't it?"

"Considering the amount of cats coming in? Yes," Macavity grumbles. "Did you have to invite _all _of them?"

"Yes! I didn't want to be rude and I wanted all of my friends."

Skimble leans against Brittany's head and grins. "Nice to have you back, Brit. I figured you were coming today with how jumpy Macavity was... though considering how bad you are at teleporting I can understand fully..."

"Shut up," she grumbles.

Skimble laughs. "It's only the truth."

"Alright, quit harassing her, I've gotta get her into her den then go check on Jerrie and Teazer to make sure they haven't bitten off more than they can chew."

"Still busy as ever," Brittny murmurs.

"Shaddup," I grumble, going through vacant dens in my head and thinking of her preferences. "Alright, there's one that I think you'll like that's kind of secluded, but not so far away that you can't get help when you need it. About five piles away from mine."

"Sounds good."

I lead her towards her den and halfway there something hits me on the side of my face and sends me tumbling to the ground. I get up and rub my face and pick up- get this- a _piece of paper_.

"Are you okay?" Brittny asks through giggles.

"Yeah," I grumble and glare at the offending paper. "Who uses _weighted_ paper?"

"What's it say? I saw a black hole open," she says, crouching beside me.

I open the letter and glare at the paper as I read it. "What?"

"What? What's it say?" Brittny demands.

"'_The time has come. The plan is in action and soon we mole-people will have our freedom from the tyranny of Mound. Be safe, brother, and if not end it before you are captured..._' It's signed by a Burrow Sines... I guess the mole-people are revolting against something, but they sent it to the wrong address," I shrug and shove it into a random black hole."

"Should you have done that?" Macavity asks.

"What if it's sent to this Mound mole-person?"

I roll my eyes. "C'mon... it's a slim chance any of that would happen. It's probably in the fire black hole or something."

They shrug. "Okay."

-EPISODE EPILOGUE-

Burrow Kines rushes to the aid of his best friend and drags his body around the corner away from the crossfire. He looks down and finds his entire body covered in gunshot wounds and blood trickling from between his lips. Kines knows that he isn't going to make it.

"Kines..." the dying mole-man chokes out.

"Shh, shh... we're gonna get help for you Irew, I promise."

"No... give me the explosives and leave me... lead Roptre and Gytra out of here and meet with A-team and tell them we've been compromised..."

"I can't-"

"Yes you can... I have no regrets, Kines, so please... protect them and protect my son and wife..."

Kines nods, tears filling his eyes, but he refuses to let them spill. "I-I will... May the darkness fade away to light, my friend."

Irew smiles and nods. "Thank you, brother. May the light prevail."

Kines gives Irew the explosives and presses his forehead to his friend's for a moment before turning and fleeing after his friends. Tears stream down his face as he mentally promises to avenge Irew's death no matter what.

* * *

HAT: Well... that happened... I didn't know how to end it and then this mole-people thing happened... something's wrong with me.

Kines: _You're_ the reason Irew's dead!

HAT: *holds up hands* Hoooold up. I made that up Irew's right over there.

Irew: *waves: Hi.

Kines: *tackles Irew in a hug*

HAT: *shakes head* Okay, this is the weirdest ending thing ever... So now I'm gonna say it myself.. please review.


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